You Don’t Get the Life Without the Lifestyle
Everyone wants the life.
The one with the big house, flexible schedule, fulfilling work, freedom to travel, and time to show up for your kids. The life where you’re your own boss. Where you're in control. Where success looks effortless from the outside.
But most people don’t want the lifestyle that creates it.
Because that lifestyle? It’s hard. It’s unstable. It’s filled with anxiety, loneliness, rejection, and risk. It demands consistency when no one’s watching, discipline when there’s no immediate reward, and resilience when it would be easier to quit.
You don’t get the life unless you want the lifestyle.
What People See vs. What It Really Is
People fall in love with the highlight reel.
“You work for yourself? That’s amazing.”
“You’re traveling again? Must be nice.”
“You took your kids to school and closed a deal before 10 a.m.? Unreal.”
But here’s what they don’t see:
You haven’t taken a real paycheck in months
You just lost your best client
You’re covering team salaries from your savings
You haven’t slept well in a year
You’re wondering if this was a terrible idea
This is the gap between wanting the result and embracing the process. The freedom doesn’t come from one lucky break. It comes from years of choosing a life most people aren’t willing to live.
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
Source
Translation: You don’t achieve a goal just because you want it. You achieve it because you build a lifestyle that makes it inevitable.
The Entrepreneurial Yo-Yo
Entrepreneurship is emotional chaos.
One day, you land a huge deal and feel unstoppable.
The next, your ops lead quits, your vendor fails you, and a client threatens to walk.
It’s not linear. It’s never calm. It’s more like:
“I’m crushing it.” → “I’m fucked.” → “Maybe this will work.” → “Why am I doing this?” → “This is the best job in the world.”
Repeat.
If you don’t accept the whiplash, you’ll burn out or walk away before you ever see the upside. You have to want the rollercoaster.
So How Do You Survive the Ride?
Know the Game You’re Playing
If you want to be a stand-up comedian, prepare to bomb for years.
If you want to be an actor, prepare for thousands of rejections.
If you want to be an entrepreneur, prepare to suffer (quietly) through uncertainty, doubt, and instability.That’s the tax. That’s the lifestyle.
The sooner you accept that, the less energy you’ll waste resisting it.Success doesn’t come from being fearless. It comes from understanding the fear and still stepping forward. And that means saying yes to the volatility—not just when it’s exciting, but when it’s exhausting, boring, or lonely. You’re choosing a different path, and it will never feel the same as a normal job. That’s the point.
Build a Tribe That Gets It
Going solo will kill you. You need people who live the same reality.
Other founders
Creators
Builders
Friends who’ve seen success and failure
This isn’t about networking. It’s about survival. You need peers who can help you process the lows, give tactical advice, and remind you that you’re not insane.
The truth is, we borrow confidence from each other. One late-night phone call or two-hour lunch with someone who’s been where you are can pull you out of the spiral. Whether it’s a structured group like EO or an informal circle of real-deal operator friends, the conversations that happen in those rooms are more valuable than any MBA or book.
Protect the Foundation
You can’t operate in chaos 24/7.
You need sleep, movement, time away from your screen, a therapist, a coach, time with your spouse or kids—whatever gives you recovery. Think of it like an athlete: the more intense your performance, the more disciplined your recovery has to be.
If your business is volatile, your life needs to be calm. That’s not optional.
Founders often burn themselves out trying to control everything—when in reality, what they need most is a stable home, a consistent routine, and a couple of healthy habits that don’t fall apart when business gets rough. If you can’t manage your own energy, you can’t manage the business. If you’re not taking care of your mind and your body, you’ll snap under pressure, and everyone around you will feel it.
Some of Us Can’t Not Do It
Here’s the part where it gets personal.
I can’t not build. I breathe this shit. I love the problem-solving, the creativity, the momentum. Even when it’s brutal, I’m all in. I’m not in it just for the end result—I’m addicted to the process.
For people like us, business is the ultimate game. Every challenge is a puzzle. Every tough moment is a test of character. And the wins—no matter how small—are addictive. We don’t just want success; we want to earn it. That’s what makes the journey worth it.
And yeah, it’s masochistic at times. It’s irrational. But it’s also alive. And once you’ve felt that, once you’ve had even a taste of building something from scratch that actually works, it’s hard to go back to anything else. This is the life, because it’s the only lifestyle that makes us feel like ourselves.
The Payoff
There’s a moment—if you stick with it long enough—when the lifestyle starts to work.
The habits compound. The network deepens. The risks pay off.
And then, almost quietly, you look around and realize:
"This is the life I imagined. And I got here because I lived the lifestyle that built it."
That’s the moment we all chase.
And the people who get there?
They weren’t just chasing the life.
They chose the lifestyle—every single day.
on point.
Really well said!