“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
I’ve always liked this quote. But I think it leaves out something important.
Excellence is a habit, but it’s also a trade.
Getting really good at anything requires doing certain things over and over again. And every time you choose to do those things, you’re choosing not to do something else.
This is obvious when we talk about work. Building a great company takes enormous time and attention. But the same is true of being a great parent, staying healthy, having a good marriage, or maintaining close friendships.
They all require repetition. They all require habits. And they all compete for the same finite amount of time and attention.
So I’ve been thinking less about whether I’m being disciplined enough and more about what my discipline is actually producing.
Because you can be incredibly disciplined and still end up with a life you didn’t intend to build.
You can become excellent at your career while slowly becoming a worse husband or father. You can be in incredible shape while having no time for your friends. You can be a deeply involved parent while allowing your marriage to become an afterthought.
None of those things happen because someone decided they wanted them to happen.
They happen because one set of habits kept winning.
And I don’t think the answer is “balance,” exactly. Balance makes it sound like everything should get an equal amount of attention all the time. That doesn’t seem realistic.
There are periods when work should win. Other times, family should win. Sometimes your health needs more of you. Sometimes your marriage does. Sometimes an opportunity is important enough that other things should temporarily take a back seat.
The important part is that you chose it.
That’s also why I think the motivation behind our habits matters.
Why am I working this much?
Why do I care so much about this particular goal?
Why am I saying yes to this?
Why do I feel guilty when I’m not being productive?
Sometimes the answer is exactly what you hope it is: because this matters to me.
But sometimes it’s ego. Or fear. Or momentum. Or because we’ve gotten very good at something and everyone around us rewards us for continuing to do it.
That’s where the original quote gets more interesting to me.
If we really are what we repeatedly do, then our habits deserve more scrutiny than simply asking whether they’re “good” habits.
What am I repeatedly doing?
What is it making me better at?
What is getting less of me because of it?
And, most importantly, did I choose that?
Excellence is a habit. But it’s also a trade.
You get to choose what you become excellent at.
