Call Your Mom

Eliminate drift with micro-communications.

For most of my life, I only called my mom when something was wrong. I needed advice, or I was stuck, or I just didn’t know what else to do. But at some point, that changed. I stopped calling just to get something—and started calling just to connect.

These days, we both check in on each other. Sometimes it’s a quick “How was your day?” Other times it’s, “You seemed a little off at dinner yesterday—everything okay?” And yes, sometimes we’re still calling for advice. But what’s different is that it’s not just me leaning on her. She’ll call me for feedback, too. We’re both building things—me in the business world, her in the nonprofit space—and we have enough overlapping challenges that the conversations feel like peer-to-peer support. She brings a totally different approach than I do, and that’s part of what makes it valuable. She’s calm where I’m urgent. She has perspective where I get tunnel vision. And we show up for each other—not just when we need to, but because we want to.

I think it’s important to make a shift —from “call when there’s a need” to “call just to call.” Because what if we did that more often? Not just with our moms, but with everyone we care about?

We’re not great at staying in touch

We’re surrounded by ways to stay connected—texts, calls, DMs, memes, Snapchats, voice notes, FaceTime—and somehow we still don’t use them. Or we overthink using them. We wait for the right time. We think, “I should call them,” and then… we don’t.

We let people drift.

This isn’t about guilt or urgency. It’s not about “they could get hit by a bus tomorrow.” It’s about being the kind of person who shows up, even a little. Because staying in touch is the relationship.

Why we hesitate

Sometimes we’re just busy. Sometimes we make it harder than it needs to be. We overthink the message, wonder if we’ll interrupt, wait for the perfect moment, or don’t know what to say—so we say nothing. And sometimes, there’s a little tension or old conflict, and silence just fills the space where a sentence could’ve gone. But it doesn’t take much.

One single message can shift everything.

Meet people where they are

Years ago, I realized something about my brothers. They had phones and could text, but the only way they ever messaged me was through Facebook Messenger. I used Facebook, but never Messenger—so we just didn’t talk that often. At some point, I stopped resisting and just started messaging them there. And like that, we started talking again. Same thing with my sister—she prefers Snapchat. Not my favorite app, but we Snap. And it works. These tiny shifts changed our relationships—not because of the apps, but because I met them on their terms. Most people don’t realize how powerful that is. If the relationship matters, you go to them.

Micro-messages matter

We underestimate how far a short message can go. You have dinner with a friend who seems off. You follow up the next day: “Hey—you good? Just checking in.” You hear a song and think of an old friend: “Just heard Soundgarden. Remember Fenway? Hope you’re doing well.” You see someone post about a loss: “I’m so sorry—thinking of you.” That’s it. And it can mean everything.

There’s research behind this. Sociologist Mark Granovetter called it the strength of weak ties. The people we’re not super close to—old coworkers, friends we only talk to occasionally—still play a big role in our lives. A check-in from someone like that can shift a day, a mood, a mindset. It’s like emotional compound interest: small, low-effort investments that build over time.

If it’s weird between you—reach out anyway

We avoid people when there’s conflict or awkwardness. We wait it out. But sometimes, all it takes is one line to change the whole tone: “Hey, I know it’s been weird. I’m sorry. Want to talk?” You don’t have to fix it all at once. You just have to start.

You don’t need 500 friends

There’s this idea called Dunbar’s Number. It suggests that humans can realistically manage about 150 stable relationships. Within that, maybe five are super close. So no, you don’t need to keep in touch with everyone. But you do need to maintain the ones that matter to you. Even just a little. A relationship doesn’t need constant attention—but it needs some. Otherwise, it fades.

Just hit send

You don’t need the perfect words. You just need to hit send. Relationships are held together by the tiny threads we keep weaving: the “thinking of you,” the “just checking in,” the “remember this?” They don’t take much—but they keep people close.

So yeah. Call your mom. Text your best friend. DM your sister.

They’ll be glad you did. And so will you.

IM